Wasted words.

I’ve probably written a book so far this year. Or at the very least a short story. Only it’s not that simple. It’s in pieces. Chunks. Most likely you have a bit of it. On your phone. Or on your inbox. Maybe it was in your “other” folder on Facebook and nobody has ever read it. Think of how much typing you do on a daily basis. That’s what I’m talking about.
I type everything. I picked up a pen the other day and actually had to hesitate for a minute as I wasn’t quite sure how I held it. Seriously. I know how to use chopsticks, so, like riding a bike, it came back to me within a few words.
But it was weird. I remember having to take “extra classes” in high school to learn how to write my letters bigger because my teachers couldn’t read what I was writing and they felt like it would help me (I tended to just scribble after a while, especially if I was near the end of a line and for some reason wanted the last few words to fit in).
I guess I gave up on daily blogging for three reasons:
  1. I hated the pressure of writing. I felt so much like it was forced and not organic. But if I am going to wait until it feels “right” I’d never get anything done.
  2. I was writing about my life and it started to get more and more personal and as the number of hits went up (admittedly only slightly, peaking at 56 views per day) I got self conscious. Nobody ever said anything negative, but I felt worried that people were judging me. But that’s a stupid because people only judge when they’re insecure about something in themselves and they need to hide or defer it.
  3. I felt like my writing was no good.
Well, no more. I am going to see if I can do it for a month. Just one patch of 30 days. I’ll do it on trains and when waiting for buses. It doesn’t matter. 
This blog is maybe a few hundred words. I’ve typed text messages longer than that. I’ve totally sent longer Facebook messages. And I am 100% sure I’ve sent longer emails… all of which were not good. And were not well written. So why can’t I send a few less crappy emails and write a blog? Well, I’ve no excuse not to now.

 

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