In defence of night owls (aka I hate Mornings)

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In defence of night owls (aka I hate Mornings)

Mornings are not my friend. Ever. I don’t get along with morning people. I don’t like them (mornings, not people. Although catch me before 10am and it’s likely I don’t like you and have called you some pretty horrible names in my head).

My aversion to mornings isn’t being lazy (although my dad would disagree). It’s actually a much more positive thing: I love the night time.

Sleeping is one of my favourite things and I don’t want to cut back on it, so I start my day later than most of the world. But if you took me to France or somewhere I’m sure my body clock would sync up with their time zone. But that’s not the point. I’d still prefer night time. I love it. Stars. Planets. Black clear sky’s. Artificial street lights against the background of a dark sky. You get my point.

Also, I work better at night. I think this is habitual to a certain degree. At uni and high school I got most of my work done last minute late at night , but that was my choice. I also have quite a loud and shout-y family which makes being productive during the hours they’re awake a chore. I can get into a stride of writing and one of them will call me for tech support (usually the internet) and I’ll lose my place. Or train of thought.

So I don’t know if my mind has just adapted to this and works better at night or if I’m making excuses. What I do know is I love the night.

As an infant, my dad used to take me on a drive when I couldn’t sleep. Sitting in the car chair thing I would stare up at the stars and sky and it was remarkable relaxing. Peaceful. Even today, if I am too stressed and need a minute or two out of my head I’ll go on a night drive (more often this has become a walk, because I need to stay as “fit” as I can).

I’m not an anarchist without a cause or a clue. I don’t want to fuck the system. Or rock the status quo. If you like mornings, go mad. (Preferably somewhere else or not near me until 10am). I just want to spend as many of my days during a night. If I get 30,000 days to live (on average), why can’t I spent a few of those on the time zone which suits me?

I do dislike the holier than thou attitude you get from some people. “But it’s the best part of the day” to you.
“You’ve wasted half the day”… Really? I’m going to go to bed at 2am. And I’m not going to spend 3 hours of my waking day switched off in front of a switched on TV…
” how do you get anything done?” I do. Believe me.



Simon Caine is a comedian, author, podcaster, writer and social media manager. He's the host of the Ask The Industry Podcast (iTunes link) , writer of jokes for Twitter and teller of gags on the London comedy scene. He's also the person writing this and it is taking all his willpower not to make a "Simon Says" joke.
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