Day 13 – don’t read this aka writers block

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Day 13 – don’t read this aka writers block

Don’t read this. Really. Stop. You could be doing anything else. Write a book. A play. A joke. Stop. I’ve got nothing to say here.

I’ve got writers block and I don’t even believe that’s a thing. I believe you can’t be blocked as a writer, you can only not write because you’re being lazy or you’ve written something you’re not happy with / proud of.

But still. I’ve got it. Why are you still reading? Are the short sentences pacing you? Helping you get through chunks. Before you know it you’ve read half a page.

I don’t know. This content is no good. I am not sure why I’m even carrying on. That’s right I’m 13 days into a daily blog challenge. Great move Simon. You really need more unprofitable projects that take up your valuable Facebook-ing time. And now, much like calling a girl with a broken leg “fat” you’re adding insult to unjury by posting this crap online. For all to read. Taking them away from valuable Facebook-ing time.

Why are you still reading? I told you I’m out of ideas. I’ve got writers block. There’s nothing here. These words might as well not exist. Technically they don’t. They’re stored on a server and aren’t “real”.

Writers block indeed. How over the top can you get? Do you not have a notepad?  A pen? The back of your hand? A scrap of paper? Your phone? IPad? You’re just making excuses. And not very good ones. And they’re only got yourself. Why do you even care if you’re not writing? Who are there excuses for? Your future self? So you have a reason for why the blogs were not written? Why the sitcom wasn’t made? Why the ” great idea ” you’ve been sitting on for years has remained in a file on your computer?

You don’t know. I might have writers block. Everyone falls into trouble sometimes creatively. Maybe you’ve just not had it yet. Maybe yours is yet to come. But who are you to judge me? I’m doing the best I can. Plus I’m tired from work. I can’t be bothered to write when I get home. I’ve just done 8 hours of work. Isn’t that enough?

Don’t do it when you get home. Do it on the train on your phone. Can’t you see, you’re your own worst enemy. Your perception is limiting your potential and then you’re finding things external to you to blame because that’s easier than questioning who you are and what you’re afraid of.

I’m not scared of anything. Why would I be? That seems over the top.

You’re not scared you won’t be great first time? Of the unknown? Of challenge a format? Challenging yourself? The vulnerability of asking for help and trying something new? You fear none of those things.

No why would I?

I guess the only reason you wouldn’t fear them is because you have already made up your mind to not try. If you know you’re not going to do a thing, the fear of failing falls away and all your left with is the feeling of regret which you can hide from with excuses.

Oh yeah? Who are you to judge me? Who are you to tell me what I’m scared of and how I feel? Who are you to act all “moral superior” about the art of writing? Who are you?

I’m you. Only I’m motivated enough to write this blog.

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Simon Caine is a comedian, author, podcaster, writer and social media manager. He's the host of the Ask The Industry Podcast (iTunes link) , writer of jokes for Twitter and teller of gags on the London comedy scene. He's also the person writing this and it is taking all his willpower not to make a "Simon Says" joke.
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